That Chick

"That Chick" is a unique creature.




We all know one, or have been Her at some point in our life.



Here is "That Chick", in a nutshell.



-Professes Her love in the middle of the first date because he opened the door for her. (That's his job, ladies. It's called chivalry.)



-Would rather stay home on a Saturday night to watch chick flicks and mourn the last relationshit that failed vs. hanging out with some really awesome friends (*sob* Am I broken? I sent him 85 texts today. Doesn't he miss me too? <-- Knock it off!)



-Settles for less then She deserves because she's lonely. (This is a sensitive subject, but it happens. She ends up in an empty relationship laying in bed next to a stranger... and is still lonely. No bueno!)



-Envisions Herself married and in bliss... with the gorgeous guy standing in line in front of her at the grocery store. (He's wearing a ring, but that's ok. Maybe he's unhappily married and there's a chance?? Nevermind. He's missing teeth. *sigh*)



-Overwhelms Her girlfriends with this: Doesn't your husband/boyfriend/husband's best friend/brother have any hot single friends?



-Dates fugly guys to boost Her self esteem (It was AWESOME! Everyone was looking at me like "She's too cute to be with HIM!"...seriously? *raising eyebrow*)



-Purposefully does not shave before a first date so She doesn't "accidently" molest the unsuspecting guy. (It really is none of his business that you've had no reason to shave your legs for over 6 months, That Chick)



-Saves texts/voice mails from a boy to listen to when she's at her lowest point missing him. (Really? Reading "I love the smell of your skin..." makes you feel better when you know he's out with some other chick right now? <---Stooooopit!)



-Resurrects old flames from the grave for entertainment purposes only. (I know he's no good for me, but damn he has pretty teeth. Is it wrong that I just want to see him ONE MORE TIME?)



-Drive by stalking. Enough said. Bad bad bad.



-"Accidently" texts the ex, just to see if he responds. (Oops... No, I wasn't saying I love your beautiful eyes, that's for THE NEW BOY I'M DATING!! Jerk. Stop texting me.)



The list goes on and on... and will be added to as need be.



Yea. I'm not gonna be That Chick ever (again!!)



;)

*facepalm*

Remember the simplicity of High School dating?

Boy to Girl: Will you go out with me?

Girl to Boy: Yes

It humors me when men say, "I don't wanna date a chick that plays high school games."

Looks pretty simple to me.

Adult Dating...

blows chunks.

Spellcheck, please.

*raising eyebrow*

If you are going to be kind enough to ask me out on a date, have the courtesy of using spellcheck.

hello whats ur name i would lke to have date with you as well get to know you a bit wht do u think im kuis

Falsies!

Instructions for applying false lashes.

1. Hold lashes between fingertips and apply a liberal amount of lash glue to the edge.

2. Constantly keep fingers moving so that any excess glue does not bind said lashes to your fingertips.

3. Place falsies as close to your natural lashes as possible.

4. DONT BLINK.

5. Remove falsies and repeat setps 1-4 as it is impossible to get it right the first time.

6. Using a moistened Q-tip, remove drying glue from eyelids, bangs & bridge of nose.

7. Glue will take several minutes to dry.  This process can be sped up by utilizing a blowdryer on low speed with high heat.  Eyes closed, please.

8. Using a very dark eyeliner, trace edge of lashes being sure to cover clumps of glue.

9. Curl eyelashes gently.

10. Apply 7 coats of mascara to ensure that should lash glue lose it's grip, the mascara will have at least fused the falsies to your natural lashes so they don't fall off into your Mai Tai.

Knitting Socks

Soldiers hold a special place in my heart.  I loved one, once upon a time. 

Having had that experience, the adoration for the US Military has just kind of stuck with me.  The dedication these men & women show makes me choke up a bit.  A few of my brothers are former Marines (OOHRAH!) & providing comfort for the American Troops is just in my blood.  It is the least I can do for the sacrafices they make.

I recently began volunteering at the USO.  Thus far, it has been a life changing experience.  An eyeopener of sorts.  Each volunteer has a different reason for offering their time.  Some are retired Military & Vets, some have family members in the service - brothers, sisters, children... and some have no connection to anyone in the Military - they simply want to say "thank you".

There is a fantastic site that I stumbled across this morning that touched my heart.  anysoldier.com  If you are looking to provide a little bit of comfort to our Men & Women serving overseas, this is the site for you!  Currently, I have 3 friends serving in Iraq. I do my best to reach out to them as much as possible, just so they know that someone at home is thinking about them. 

I may not always agree with the circumstances surrounding the deployment of our Troops, but that doesn't prevent me from knitting socks on the homefront. *wink wink*

Perfectly Un-Perfect

*ahem*
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DRAMA FREE my (_i_)

Here Ye Here Ye!

Thou shalt acknowledge that thy male counterpart is substantially more emotionally broken then ye!

Or something like that.

It's been a while since I have had such insight into the male brain. 

Ladies, boys are considerably more (or equally as) broken then we are.

Being back on the dating scene isn't much fun.  *sigh*  It's the same scumwads that have been hanging around the joint for the last 2 1/2 years.  It's odd to receive emails stating, "Hey! You're back!  How ya been?  Things didn't work out with Bacon? That's too bad.  Wanna get a drink tonight?"

Really? No.

Anyhow, the boys that I'm learning to avoid are the ones that state they are "DRAMA FREE".  :raising eyebrow: Not so much.

As females, we tend to have drama from past relationships.

But boys hang onto stuff from their childhood. 

I once dated a guy whose mother left him at a very young age.  He was raised happily by his grandparents.  He reached adulthood, got married, had a child... and then discovered that he had siblings whom he never knew existed.  Now, I can't imagine not having been raised by my mother.  Or feeling abandoned.  And no, this guy never vocalized either of these concerns in great depth, we only touched on them lightly during a few brief conversations. 

Said relationshit progressed, Y-chromosome spoke of co-habitation (woah) and then ::boom:: it was done.

Ok.

*blink blink*

For some reason, I have been attracted to severely broken males in the past. 

Ones with "mommy" issues, practically still hanging from the teet. 

No more of that...

And no more of the ones that hate their mother's either. 

Or the ones who don't know who their mother is.

Or the ones who won't forgive their mother's flaws.

Or the ones who still live with their mother.