Words Of Womanly Wisdom

Dear *insert ex-boyfriends name here*,

I think that you have just broken the tip off the iceberg with what you actually want to say to her. But, you are on the right track as far as I am concerned. I think that you are doing the right thing by thinking through things first before speaking them to her.

I've been through divorce so I can sympathize with the confusion she is undoubtably feeling right now. With everything that is going on, I can guarantee that she is feeling some of the following. She doesn't want to be married to *Greg anymore, that's obvious. Divorce is by far the most stressful thing that I have ever gone through. It's so easy for someone to say "just get divorced" if they haven't actually had to live through it. I remember thinking about halfway through that I wasn't sure if I'd have any sanity left when it was finished, honestly. It feels as if the walls are closing in on you. There's court, fighting, intrusive questions that she will have to answer, bickering lawyers, an impartial judge etc. They will have to divide their debt, property, dishes even. And as horrid as it is being married to someone you don't love, it almost seems to be a better option at points then to have your life nosed through by attorneys and a judge. It's disarming and invasive, intrusive almost - having to bare your flaws to strangers. *shudder*

I was fortunate enough to have had someone in my life at the time who was able to be my foundation through it all. Although I rushed into that relationship with blinders on, I'm glad I did it. It was well worth the time invested, good and bad. And that's the kind of "friend" that I would like to see you being to *Robin. Rather then having her make the decision as to what she wants regarding love, be her friend. Let her get through the divorce. Then things will be able to blossom from there. While I believe that you need to tell her what's on your mind, don't do it all at once!! Remember? Women freakin' dart like rabid jack rabbits when we feel we're being cornered. Not that you would ever intentionally "corner" her, but I know how impatient you are. Just take a deep breath and step back for a moment. You don't want to smother her, it won't do anything but cause her to panic.

There isn't any rush to profess your love to her, honestly. Time's on your side, you know? That's something I've learned these last few months. I have no reason to be in a rush with life or love anymore. It's literally time to stop and smell the roses, walk on the beach and feel the sand between my toes, appreciate the small stuff. Everything else in life is just icing on the cake... If it's meant to happen, it will. And I know that you aren't spiritual, but I believe that situations like this are out of our hands and in someone biggers. ;) I'm glad to be able to give you my "womanly words of wisdom".

Love,
Sheri