Monday, July 14, 2008

Dirty little secret.


Memo to men: WE DON'T GET YOU EITHER





I'm not sure what kind of woman-law I'm breaking by divulging that tidbit of information, but there you have it. I'm willing to suffer the consequences, someone had to tell you! And what better women then moi?








I know that women are supposed to have super-natural powers. After all, we have eyes on the back of our head and can foresee the future.







But, dagnabbit... We can't figure you out! There are lots of things that we can't seem to wrap our brains around, but here are a few important ones that you must know.














What The X Chromosome Doesn't Understand About The Y Chromosome







*Why you freak out when we cry. Unless you called us fat, it's probably not your fault. In other words, you are the good guy - embrace the moment!! And if you'd like to stay the good guy, hug us and pretend that we look adorable with raccoon eyes.









*The lack of communication. Women need to feel connected to their mate and communication is the key. (Write that down for future reference.
Communication = Key to our parts... eh.. hearts.) If you ignore us for a few days and then want to "coddle", it's not happening. We don't make out with strangers, get it?









*Sports. Period. Basketball, blah. Baseball, blah. Racing, blah. Hockey, blah. Bloody UFC fights, double blah. Listen, to make it fair - for every sporting event you subject us to, you have to watch a chick flick with us. Fair? Fair.








*How you can call the house 'clean' when it hasn't been swept, vacuumed, mopped or dusted. Placing the newspaper into a tidy pile does not constitute clean. (Write that one down too, it will come in handy the next time your mother in law visits!)








You're welcome.






Now tell her you're sorry for what ever you did or didn't do.





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