Statue Of Limitations

I enjoy nothing more in this world then tattling on my brothers for things they did years & years ago.

Yea, I know what you are thinking. "She's 30! She's a mother herself! Why does she enjoy tattling?!" I can answer that in one simple sentence: Because I can.

Here are some recent tattling sessions:


Me: Hey dad, did I tell you what Chris did with his bb-gun when he was in 7th grade? He shot Katie and I in the butt with it. Then he and Wayne threatened to knock our blocks off if we told anyone. We each had a bruise the size of a softball on our buttcheeks for weeks!

Dad: Oh good grief. *rubbing temples*

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Me: Hey mom, remember the time there was a burn mark on the kitchen floor? Not only did Charlie set the toaster oven on fire, he set a paper plate on fire too.

Mom: I'm shocked he didn't burn the whole neighborhood down. Your brothers were pyros...

Me: Yep, I know this. Did I ever tell you about the time Trevor set fire to a pile of leaves in the back yard with a magnifying glass and it smoldered for 3 days?

Mom: Wha'...?? Ok, no more. Stop.

Me: And one time...

Mom: Sherilynn, really... Stop.

Me: *pouty face*

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Me: Hey dad. *batting eyelashes* Did I ever tell you about the time that Charlie & Lance went joyriding in the van? They got pulled over because the break light was out and the cop didn't even ask for his license. Which he didn't have, of course, because he was 13!!!

Dad: New family rule. You can't tell me anything else until the statue of limitations has run out.

Me: Awwww mannnnn!!!